THE APRICOT TREE

 This post is dedicated to my beloved grandparents. They were the best part of my childhood and the reason for my survival. They provided the financial and emotional stability and the calm and loving atmosphere every child needs to thrive. We had drama, conflict, and all sorts of financial disasters you could imagine. A decision was made to build and expand our grandparents' house and we stayed there. I was born and raised there up until my late twenties. The only interruptions were the Iraq war in the eighties and a brief three-year immigration to South Africa when I was around 12. My dad was a land surveyor, he was not permanently employed and oftentimes after finishing a project, he would not have an income until he found something else. We did not have to worry about the rent or even groceries most of the time. 

Most of my sweet childhood memories come from Grande's house. I often complain that my little two-year-old has to sleep in our bed and she panics when she wakes up in the middle of the night. I used to sleep with grandma up until the age of six, I remember I even used to wet the bed as well!

We used to have a beautiful apricot tree and a blackberry tree in the yard. Grandma had a special way with plants. Every summer I enjoyed running around the small yard and playing. I enjoyed the little berry tree because I could pick the berries myself. Grandpa and I had a special moment in the hot summer days when he used to pick the ripe apricots, open them, and give me half. They were the juiciest and sweetest apricots I had ever tasted in my life. Later on, the tree was cut and most of the yard was tiled to accommodate my father’s vehicle. 

Children need calm and kind parents who are there for them to make them happy. We need to try to create beautiful memories together. Children need to be given the freedom to explore different fields such as sports, drama, and art to discover their talents. It is important for us as parents to grow with our kids and stay on top of technology. Save enough for the rainy days and your retirement so you are not a financial burden on your children. 

The phot shows the yard after the tree was cut, another berry tree and other beautiful plants are growing.  

BLUE ORIGIN FAILED FEMINIST GESTURE

 I was browsing through Facebook and saw a picture of Katy Perry kissing the earth. I became curious that she went on a space trip with five other women including Lauren Sanchez and Gayle King. Initially, I assumed they had at least spent 7 days in some space station, although they looked so fabulous when they landed with hair extensions, lip gloss, lashes, and their overly tight blue bodysuits! Then I realized that they only spent a total of 11 minutes to the edge of space and back!  To complete this circus in Texas we had the Kardashians cheering for our female Astronaut team. 

The whole mission was out of context and contributed nothing to the female community. people had many negative reviews on social media. Such as just because these women are billionaires or have connections they can act like astronauts who have conquered space. Economic strain and multiple wars are happening in the world and people believe this demonstration was a total waste of money, where a lot of people are struggling financially. Others also pointed out the environmental effects such as air pollution that come with space tourism. 

Another female who has received a lot of negative reviews recently is Magan Marckle with her Netflix show With Love, Megan. Looking desperately for publicity and some extra cash to support her lifestyle Megan puts on this cooking and lifestyle show. The Audience realizes that she really cannot cook, but is trying very hard to follow the steps of people like Martha Stewart, but everything looks like a joke and lacks authenticity. 

Another feminist activity that caused a lot of outrage and negative reactions was the actress RacheL Zegler commenting on her latest film Snow white that the story needs to change and she no longer needs to wait for a prince to save her!

Women certainly do not need such fake and unauthentic demonstrators to advocate for their rights, they need something that gives them freedom and a better quality of life, such as flexible working hours, subsidized child care, and the freedom to decide for their bodies and termination of pregnancy. 

THE IDEAL NUMBER OF CHILDREN

We have probably noticed a significant change in the size of the modern family. My great-grandmother had five children. My mother’s mother had two children. She was battling with postpartum depression and that was the reason she had fewer children compared to the women in her generation. My father’s mother had five children. I had my first baby at 37 and after exploring my options and what is best for my family and taking into account my husband’s wishes we decided to have only one child. We are currently focusing on raising our beautiful daughter. 

When I was 25 years old, I had the perception that children who are raised without siblings experience multiple mental issues, they tend to be lonely, they may not do well in life, or they may be socially more withdrawn. The ideal family to me was the one with two or more children. That was my expectation in my early twenties. The reality of life in my late thirties is different now. I work as a full-time OBGYN in an academic hospital, my parents are in their 60s and seventies and they depend on me financially. We don’t have many other friends and family in South Africa except my brother who is a lifesaver whenever we need financial help etc. 

I love my little daughter but due to the nature of my job, I hardly find time after work I the week or weekends to spend time with her. The finances have not been great, due to the various health care costs of my parents and my husband battling to have a stable job. I battle to have time to look after myself, attend to my hobbies, exercise, do more research or academic work, or even pursue a subspecialty. Looking deep at my wishes and desires I would not want to have another baby. 

Here are some of the positive effects of being an only child:

1. The only child will receive more focused attention
2. They show better academic performance due to more help from parents
3. Only children show greater self-resilience and independence as they don’t have siblings to rely on
4. They have more opportunities to travel, educate, and do extracurricular activities. 
5. 
   

Ultimately being an only child is not inherently better or worse than having siblings. With supporting parenting and opportunities to socialize, only children can thrive and develop into confident, capable, and compassionate individuals. 

HEALTHY AGING

 This is a topic that is often discussed. Most women concentrate on the aesthetic parts of aging, investing a lot of time and money in fillers, Botox, micro needling, facelifts, etc. to improve their appearance. We want to discuss the latest evidence on aging gracefully and having a healthy mind and body. 

New evidence supports the beneficial effects of mindfulness meditation and its effect in reducing anxiety and slowing down memory loss in elderly patients. We know that dementia and Alzheimer’s disease are more common among females. This could be something we can discuss with our post-menopausal women when we see them for their routine gynae check-ups. Self-compassion and physical activity have been linked to improved mental health, well-being, and quality of life. Self-compassion refers to a feeling of kindness towards oneself and a rather positive mindset towards negative thoughts. 

This evidence comes from a clinical trial involving 147 patients from clinics with a special interest in memory disorders in France, Germany, and the UK all of whom reported subjective cognitive decline. Patients who attended the 8 week mindfulness meditation classes showed improved self compassion and increased physical activity and cognition. 

These findings support various interventions that focus on mindfulness and encourage physical activity in older people to promote healthy aging. We know as we age there is a reduction in physical activity, muscle mass and coordination. This can have multiple ,mental and physical adverse effects such as weight gain, falls and bone fractures. We all know once the elderly experience a fracture it causes severe morbidity and mortality and prevention is always better than cure.