FOUR DECADES OF WISDOM

 I turned 41 today. I am blessed to have made it this far in life. I am hoping to be healthy and alive for another 4 decades! I am not bothered about grey hair or wrinkles. I am probably going to age naturally and gracefully. I am still at the beginning of my career as an OBGYN, and I hope to study further and get into fellowship programs.

There are things I want to say to my younger self that I wish I had done differently in life. 

1. I was very young and emotional, and my feminist ideology was bubbling in my twenties. I moved to South Africa and lived with my parents for two years while the HPCSA registration was finalized. I was fighting with my dad constantly, trying to change his behaviour towards my mom, taking her side in the fights and causing more and more tension. It led to their divorce after 30 years of marriage, and me not talking to my dad for four years. They are back to living together, and we are on good terms now. He has not changed at all, but whenever there is an argument in the house, I keep quiet and do not take sides until it settles, and it helps a lot with keeping the peace.

2. In this age, we really do not care how we look in photos or holiday pics; we care how we look in CT, MRI, and Pap smears. We think about our health way more than when we were in our twenties. We think twice before we decide to party and skip a good night's sleep, because recovery is not easy. Luckily, I don't drink, but life is too short to spend so many Sundays and Mondays recovering from dehydration and hangovers. Gen Z knows the importance of this, and they are already skipping the crazy partying and drinking phase of life; they are all about skin care, sleep, mental health, work-life balance, and, most importantly, their pockets. 

3. I no longer care about my next holiday destination. I am more interested in saving for my pension,  investing, and settling my mortgage. Spending a fortune travelling to an exotic island just to relax by the beach, get bored, sip on a cocktail, and read a book. I can still enjoy little moments of life, and not go bankrupt. 

4. Talk less and listen more. I have learnt this the hard way. Once somebody has made up their mind on something, it is impossible to change their mind. The more we argue, the more defensive they become and the more they disagree with us. While interacting with the patients and family members, I let it go very quickly. I discuss alternate options and let them decide as they wish.

5. I would tell my younger self who grew up watching Disney princess stories, believing some guy will come along and make me the happiest girl in the world. Now I see the value of my girlfriends who stand by me and support me during the difficult times. Good friends are priceless, and they are there for you because they want to be, not because they are your parents or partner. 

6. I have been terrible with setting boundaries, especially with family and co-workers. I have been a people pleaser, playing nice and unable to say no. The co-workers who are firm and have boundaries survive much better. I have overworked myself, and I wish I could have done less and assigned different family members and coworkers to do their jobs. 

Midlife is not easy; some people have to deal with career challenges or retrenchment, some younger parents are dealing with teenagers, and some, like me, with a toddler. We have demanding full-time jobs, kids, and our aging parents. It's not easy watching your parents get older. Here is to the next four decades of health, growth, incredible career milestones, and deeply peaceful Sundays. 

My Bestie surprising me on my birthday

A fabulous trip to Mount Grace with my
dear girlfriend. 

SLOWING DOWN WITH MY 4 YEAR OLD

 My daughter is turning 4 in November. I have been having a brilliant opportunity to spend more time with her recently. We have slow mornings in bed. We do arts and crafts, and we read storybooks. She started creche at the age of two, and I used to drag her out of bed at 5am, get her dressed, and drop her off at her creche. Most days she would be the first baby being dropped off. She would panic and cry, and the ladies would try to take care of her until 8am when the teachers and the rest of the children would arrive. They were given breakfast and lunch at school, and she required a late snack, as most days I would fetch her around 6pm. In her new school, we pack her a pretty lunchbox with a little sandwich, and we drop her off at 9:30 am which makes a huge difference.

She is a very sweet and independent girl. There are weekends when I leave her with her grandparents, and she manages well. She was initially interested in Coco Melon animations, and then she started enjoying Peppa Pig. She became extremely interested in K-pop and its music. She had been watching a lot of dinosaur shows and Jurassic Park with her dad and has been enjoying the Paw-petrol dog shows. I love it when she gives me her opinion on things and asks me what she wants to get. One of her favourite toys is the Marshal dog from the Paw-petrol characters. She enjoys watching Spiderman shows on YouTube. She started watching the Frozen animation on my friend’s Disney channel and became very interested in the story. Now she runs around, opens her hands, makes a big sound, and pretends to freeze everything and everyone. When she gets to me, she says, “Mommy hot!” I get excited and jump up and down with joy.

I am a great lover of public libraries, and recently my little daughter has her own library card, and she can take out her own children’s books. She saw a Frozen storybook in the library and took it immediately. She is getting more and more verbal, at her own pace. She is learning new words every day and becoming more curious about various things. She knows her shapes and colours and knows how to count to ten. She knows the names of most of the animals and fruits. She can now solve little puzzles and enjoys playing with blocks and building things. She is very happy when she is around other children. 

She is close to her father’s mother, whom she calls Ouma, and my dad, whom she calls Daddy. She is OK around my mother and my husband's grandmother. My dad and Ouma spend a lot of time playing with her. Up to the age of 28 months,  she was mostly with my mother while I was at work, but my mom was not very pro-active to play with her or taking her outside; my dad was the one to play with her inside and outdoors. She is a picky eater; she mainly lives on bread and butter, milk, and snacks. She loves KFC chicken or any grilled chicken, fried fish and chips, 2-minute noodles, and all sorts of eggs. She is not interested in vegetables except corn and cucumber and a few fruits like apples, oranges and strawberries. 

She enjoys riding her bicycle, doing arts and crafts, and playing with my husband's granny who makes blocks and has pretend tea parties with her. Our neighbour’s boy comes up to my parents' house and the two of them sometimes play well, or sometimes it ends up with disaster and tears and fighting. Whenever she falls or has a sore, I give her a hug and tell her, “Mommy is gonna kiss it better!” Some days when I am a bit nervous or stressed, she spontaneously comes to me, gives me a hug, kisses me, and tells me, “I kiss it better!” I instantly start to feel better; it is such a good feeling.  We do our best as parents, and we hope to raise a happy and confident girl.

                                                  Fun in the sun with the pink bicycle

The giant airplane

The Bird Garden in Monte Casino

Enjoying doing puzzles in the Bryanston Library

DR. ZHIVAGO BOOK VS MOVIE REVIEW

A little sketch work from the epic movie 

 Dr Zhivago was known to me as a classic  Hollywood movie made in the sixties, and I was aware of the unique Lara’s theme. I had no idea what it was about. Two weeks ago, I was looking through the classic novel section of the public library and came across Dr Zhivago. I realized that it was actually a classic Russian novel. I started reading, and the story demonstrated Yuri's (Dr Zhivago) loyalty to his wife, Tonya, even though he was caught in a romantic relationship with Lara during the war, while she was working as a nurse and searching for her husband. He was a doctor, and during his career endured a lot of hardship dealing with the chaos of the war and the revolution in the Soviet Union. He also enjoyed writing poetry, and the poem collections were at the back of the novel. The harsh reality of the intrusion into the citizens' personal lives and the consequences were clearly mentioned in the story. 

I managed to watch the movie as well, and I enjoyed the various scenes, the acting, and the attention to detail. I was anticipating a long movie, based on the events that needed to be covered from the book. The soundtrack was extremely touching, portraying a sense of love, hope, and chaos at the same time. It was painful to see that Tonya was doing her best to be a dutiful wife to Zhivago, but he had way more chemistry with Lara, and he would use every opportunity to get with her. 

I did some research and realized that Boris Pasternak’s book was banned in the soviet Union at the time, due to the negative portray on the revolution and its devastating effect on individuals. It was secretly printed and distributed internationally in the 1950s. He was later offered a Nobel Prize in Literature, but declined for fear of having to leave his home country. The movie was a big box office success and won several Academy Awards and was an inspiration for the next generation of filmmakers. Knowing that the cast of the movie had to make a little Moscow in Spain and shoot some of the winter shots in the middle of summer with artificial snow was interesting, as Moscow did not approve shooting the movie in Russia. It was fascinating that an Egyptian actor, Omar Sharif, managed to be picked as the lead actor, and Charlie Chaplin’s daughter played the part of Tonya. The director David Lean was a great storyteller and a perfectionist. There might have been a political incentive to spite the Soviet Union and raise awareness about the negative impact of the revolution. This masterpiece has had a huge impact on me, from the story to the soundtrack. I am going to sketch the two lead characters in the movie. It took the author 10 years to write this book, and it was partially related to the author’s life. 

I conclude with one of my favourite poems of Pasternak:

Autumn

I have allowed my family to scatter,

All those who were my dearest to depart,

And once again an age-long loneliness

Comes in to fill all nature and my heart.

Alone this cottage shelters me and you:

The wood is an unpeopled wilderness

And ways and footpaths wear, as in the song.

Weeds almost overgrowing each recess;

And where we sit together by ourselves

The log walls gaze upon us mournfully.

We gave no promise to leap obstacles,

We shall yet face our end with honesty.

At one we'll sit, at three again we'll rise,

My book with me, your sewing in your hand,

Nor with the dawning shall we realize

When all our kissing shall have had an end.

You leaves, more richly and more recklessly

Rustle your dresses, spill yourselves away,

And fill a past day's cup of bitterness

Still higher with the anguish of today!

All this delight, devotion and desire!

We'll fling ourselves into September's riot!

Immure yourself within the autumn's rustle

Entirely: go crazy, or be quiet!

How when you fall into my gentle arms

Enrobed in that silk-tasselled dressing gown

You shake the dress you wear away from you

As only coppices shake their leaves down!-

You are the blessing on my baneful way,

When life has depths worse than disease can reach,

And courage is the only root of beauty,

And it is this that draws us each to each. 

PREGNANCY AFTER CANCER TREATMENT BY FIGO

 Introduction

There has been a rise in the incidence of cancer in reproductive-age men and women. This could be attributed to a rise in obesity and more exposure to various carcinogens. Approximately two million reproductive-age women between the ages of 15 to 49 years are diagnosed with cancer annually.  In 2022, the most common cancer types encountered were breast (32.8%), thyroid (15.1%), uterine cervical (12.5%), ovarian (4.4%), colorectal (4.3%), and lung (3.1%). The most common cancer types reported in pediatric populations include leukemia (53%), central nervous system tumors (22%), and neuroblastoma (9%). Cancer treatments include surgery, chemotherapy, and radiotherapy;  there are emerging therapies such as immunotherapy as well.  Cancer and its treatment profoundly affect fertility, resulting in significantly reduced pregnancy rates among survivors. Garg et al. reported that only 17.4% of cancer survivors had at least one subsequent live birth compared with 21.7% of age- matched controls, with an incidence rate ratio (IRR) of 0.69 across all cancer types. 

preconception

It is the natural desire of many women who have completed their cancer treatment to experience motherhood. Many factors need to be discussed to make this journey as safe as possible for the mother and the fetus. It is important to ensure that the women are in remission for 1 to 2 years. They should be provided with a reliable and safe contraceptive during this time. Women should be aware of the increased risk of cancer recurrence when stopping treatments such as tamoxifen in estrogen receptor-positive cancers before pregnancy. 

Women should be screened for mental health problems after going through the trauma and anxiety in the process of cancer treatment, and living with the pressure of possible cancer recurrence in the future. Women who have undergone adjuvant chemotherapy should be aware of the toxicity of these agents on their vital organs such as the liver, kidney, or heart. And the relevant checks need to be done in the preconception period. 

pregnancy and post-partum

Pregnant women with a history of cancer treatment should be managed in a consultant-led unit with maternal and fetal specialists. Screening for pre-eclampsia, aneuploidy, and gestational diabetes should be carried out on women. It is recommended to prescribe aspirin to reduce the risk. Serial fetal surveillance should be offered in the third trimester. Studies show that women with a history of cancer or previous pelvic surgery are at increased risk of caesarean delivery, but no increased risk of assisted delivery. In women with BRCA 1 or BRCA 2 mutations who have completed their families and are undergoing a caesarean section, a bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy can be offered to reduce their lifetime cancer risk. 

The history of cancer treatment in the post-partum period does not require the addition of LMWH, unless there is active malignancy or other factors that increase the thrombo-embolic risk. The oncology follow-up of women in the postpartum period is similar to that of non-pregnant patients. Adjuvant hormone therapy such as tamoxifen may be resumed 2 weeks after delivery, and breastfeeding will be contraindicated in this setting. 

Conclusion 

Obtain a detailed history of a past cancer diagnosis, associated treatments, and complications of treatment. Where possible, obtain appropriate screening for common complications such as cardiac, pulmonary, renal, hepatic, and endocrine toxicities. Screening may include cardiac auscultation, electrocardiogram, and lung function testing such as spirometry. If there are concerns for potential cancer- related cardiac dysfunction, such as cardiomyopathy, it is advisable to obtain assessment by an obstetric physician or obstetrical provider with appropriate expertise.  If possible, advise patients to wait 1–2 years after completing their cancer treatment before becoming pregnant.  Provide advice on nutrition, folic acid supplementation, and a healthy lifestyle for pregnancy and for the long term after pregnancy. Support breastfeeding in women without contraindications. Begin low- dose aspirin prophylaxis for patients at risk for gestational hypertension. 

THE GRAPES OF WRATH

 I am visiting South Africa with my daughter and staying with the in-laws. It's alright, but there is no unlimited wifi in Granny’s house. Johannesburg is a big cosmopolitan city, every suburb is kilometers from another one, and having a car makes getting around pretty easy. I went to visit my friend who teaches in a high school nearby. I visited her and asked if she had any books for me to read to kill time. I picked two books, one of which was a book by an author named John Steinbeck. It looked quite worn out and old, and I assumed it was perhaps written by one of the local South African authors. 

It had been over a decade since I read a big fiction novel. The story takes place in the United States in the 1930s. I found the book extremely descriptive. The first hundred pages describe the situation of the Joad family on their farm and home. Tom Joad, who had served in prison, is released, and he comes to his hometown and finds that his family is forced to leave their home and their land, due to poor weather conditions. It showed the feeling of loss, uncertainty, sorrow, and hope for the future. Tom Joad later becomes a favourite character in the story.

I loved how the story described their situation and the road trip to California. They had hopes and dreams to find a better home and better jobs. They meet several different people on their road trip. And it all describes the situation in the States with other people struggling to make a living. They finally reach California, and their expectations are shattered. It was shocking to see how the family struggled to find work, and how difficult it was for Ma Joad to buy bread, coffee, or sugar and put food on the table every day. Ma Joad's role became more prominent once the family settled in California, and struggled day to day. 

Throughout the book, the Joad family and thousands of other Dust Bowl refugees face systemic cruelty in California. They are starved, underpaid, and treated with hostility by powerful landowners who want to keep wages low.

Steinbeck uses the metaphor of grapes growing heavy and fermenting to describe how individual misery transforms into a powerful, collective rage. In Chapter 25, he explicitly lays out this imagery:

"...and in the eyes of the people there is the failure; and in the eyes of the hungry there is a growing wrath. In the souls of the people the grapes of wrath are filling and growing heavy, growing heavy for the vintage."

At its core, the book is powered by its characters—particularly the resilient Ma Joad and the volatile, evolving Tom Joad. Through their eyes, Steinbeck transforms a massive historical crisis into an intimate family tragedy. The Joad's lose their home, their dignity, and family members along the way, yet they refuse to lose their humanity. It is significant how in the most difficult times the migrant families help each other. 

Steinbeck brilliantly alternates between descriptive chapters of the Joad's' specific journey and broader, journalistic chapters that describe the forces at play: corporate greed, the banking system, and the collective plight of thousands of displaced. 

What makes the book truly unforgettable is its transition from despair to defiance. The "wrath" of the title isn't just destructive anger; it is a righteous, unifying force. Steinbeck argues that when individuals look past their own survival and realize they are part of a larger human collective, they become impossible to defeat. This book really touched me, in one of the vulnerable stages of my life, and I am glad I came across this beautiful piece of literature. 

THE BUCKET LIST

 

When I was a little girl, I used to look at my mother’s miserable life and think to myself that I would do better when I grew up. She had a hard time raising us with my dad being constantly overseas. Money was always scarce, and everything was a mission, from school pick-ups to homework. Every now and then, her in-laws would visit from another province and add to her misery and exhaustion. She was not loved or cared for; she did not have much autonomy. I don't remember her being able to spoil herself. She became more and more overweight, antisocial, and depressed. I am hoping I will be able to keep my sanity at this point in my life, keep going, and be a hot and confident mama for my little daughter.  I have been reading a lot of books and watching a lot of movies. I came across a movie called The Bucket List starring Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. Just watching these great actors having a conversation on screen is the most amazing thing ever. They are diagnosed with advanced cancer and are exploring their end-of-life options. Jack Nicholson is the rich guy with the terrible attitude and the money, organizing a lot of travelling and great experiences. Morgan helps him get in touch with his inner soul and become a better human. 

I have summarised their adventures below:

• Witness something truly majestic: They try to accomplish this by visiting the Himalayas, but the view is completely blocked by a heavy storm. Later, Edward realizes a different kind of majesty at the end of the film.

• Help a complete stranger for a common good: This was one of Carter’s deeply personal goals.

• Laugh until I cry: They achieve this in a hilarious, light-hearted hospital scene later in the movie when Carter explains the incredibly bizarre (and disgusting) truth about Edward’s beloved, ultra-expensive "Kopi Luwak" coffee beans.

• Drive a Shelby Mustang: They rent out a racetrack and aggressively drag-race vintage sports cars.

• Skydive: This is the very first thing they do after leaving the hospital, featuring a terrified Carter and a thrilled Edward jumping out of an airplane.

• Kiss the most beautiful girl in the world: Edward originally scoffs at this, assuming it means a supermodel. At the end of the film, after reconciling with his estranged daughter, he hugs his young granddaughter and kisses her on the cheek, finally crossing it off.

• Go to the Pyramids/See the Great Sphinx: They sit on top of the Pyramids of Giza, discussing life, faith, and Egyptian myths about the afterlife.

Additional Global Milestones (Seen in the Travel Montage)

While they don't read every item aloud, their journey across the globe checks off several massive travel goals:

• Go on an African Safari (Shot in Tanzania)

• Ride a motorcycle on the Great Wall of China

• Visit the Taj Mahal in India

• Dine at Chevre d'Or in France

This movie really got me thinking about my life and my priorities. What are the things I genuinely want to do? It would have been easier if I could have made friends with someone like Jack Nicholson, who would have funded my dreams and ambitions. Perhaps it would be easier to think about your bucket list when you have stage four cancer, and you do not need to save for retirement or leave money for your kids.  We are focusing on the smaller check goals and then to bigger long term goals in this bucket list. 

1. Blasting on eating out with family in a sit-down restaurant!

2. Buy my little girl a bicycle, I hope she plays with it, and does not disappoint me

3. Send my review article for publication to that stupid and expensive journal

4.  Book and travel to whatever conference I want to 

5. Have a spa day and a whole-body massage

6. Go and visit my home country if the political situation allows. I cannot think about any other travel destination until I make it home, eat at a fancy local restaurant…go to grandma’s house where I was born and raised…and go through all my sentimental items. 

7. Have a Mamma Mia, ABBA theme birthday party, with a live band playing! full of dancing, singing, laughter, and fun.

BREAST CANCER SCREENING

 I recently attended a webinar on breast cancer screening, presented by a radiologist. It had a lot of new information on screening guidelines for women. As an OBGYN I am not equipped with clear guidelines to inform the reproductive age patients about their breast cancer risk and screening intervals. Breast cancer screening is focused on identifying malignancies in asymptomatic women to detect disease at an early, highly treatable stage. While the clinical utility of early detection is universally acknowledged, specific screening protocols, modalities, and initiation ages vary slightly across international and regional guidelines.

Mammography remains the gold standard for population-based screening and the only modality clinically proven to reduce breast cancer mortality. Mammography employs low-dose X-ray imaging to visualize architectural distortions, microcalcifications, and soft tissue masses.

Increasingly preferred over conventional 2D mammography, particularly for dense breast tissue, 3D mammography reduces recall rates and improves the detection of invasive cancers by capturing multiple cross-sectional images.

Other modalities are utilized for specific clinical indications and are not recommended as standalone screening tools for average-risk individuals:

Breast Ultrasound: Primarily used to evaluate palpable masses or targeted findings on a mammogram. It serves as a supplemental screening tool in women with dense breast tissue (BI-RADS C or D), where dense parenchymal tissue can mask small lesions on an X-ray.

Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI): Utilizes intravenous gadolinium contrast to detect neoangiogenesis associated with malignancy. It features high sensitivity but lower specificity, and is reserved for high-risk screening algorithms.

Screening schedules are strictly dictated by an individual’s risk category, typically determined using validated risk assessment models.  Tyrer-Cuzick is a software risk calculator that can identify high-risk women who may require annual screening. 

I went and reviewed my mammogram report again, which made more sense to me, realizing that I have type C breast density. which explains why radiologists are required to supplement their screening with an ultrasound. 

Most average-risk women have no personal history of breast cancer, no family history, and no genetic mutations. 

Defined as women with a calculated lifetime risk of breast cancer greater than 20%, a known pathogenic germline mutation (e.g., BRAC1, BRCA2, TP53, PTEN), an untested first-degree relative with a mutation, or a history of therapeutic chest radiation (e.g., for Hodgkin lymphoma) received between the ages of 10 and 30. This category of high-risk patients requires combined annual screening mammography and annual contrast-enhanced breast MRI. The screening typically begins at age 25 to 30, or 10 years earlier than the youngest affected first-degree relative (but generally not before age 25 for MRI and age 30 for mammography due to radiation sensitivity of young breast tissue).

Implementing a screening program requires a balanced evaluation of its epidemiological advantages against potential diagnostic complications.

The benefits include

• Significant reduction in breast cancer-specific mortality.

• Increased likelihood of identifying early-stage disease (Stage 0 or I), allowing for breast-conserving surgery rather than mastectomy and lowering the necessity for aggressive adjuvant systemic chemotherapy.

As with any screening test, there may be false positive results, which may lead to unnecessary health care costs, psychological distress, and tissue biopsies. 

This made me a bit worried to know that high breast density decreases mammographic sensitivity and independently increases breast cancer risk. Clinical practice increasingly incorporates mandatory reporting of breast density to guide decisions regarding supplemental screening.

Routine physical examination alone is no longer recommended as a primary standalone screening method due to a lack of clear mortality benefit; clinicians emphasize "breast self-awareness." Patients should remain familiar with their baseline breast topography and promptly report clinical changes, such as skin tethering, nipple retraction, or new focal asymmetry.
 

WE ALL KNOW HOW THIS ENDS

 This was the title of the latest book I have read. It really touched my heart. As a doctor, we aim to keep patients alive, and, most importantly, in my profession as an obstetrician, we assist women in giving birth. This book has a great number of topics that are not discussed in everyday life and are often avoided. These are topics around death, the end of life, funerals, and dealing with grief. We are mostly unprepared and unable to plan accordingly. In all these affairs, the presence of an end-of-life doula becomes handy. The author Anna Lyons points out tips to help people who are interested in this profession to step into this path. Tips such as working in a hospice or as a healthcare assistant, and she introduces several useful websites and links.

Training as an end-of-life doula teaches us that death is a normal and natural part of life, dying is still living, and death is a transition. She points out that a good doula listens to her clients and asks all the important questions. They remember all the important facts, and at the same time maintain confidentiality. They are not there to be your friend, judge, or impose their own beliefs, or befriend you. 

Throughout the book, there were numerous stories of death and loss and how the family members handled it, from stillbirth to death in the COVID pandemic, or loss of a small child who had been unwell from birth. There were some interesting reads about various funeral plans. It really got me thinking about how I have not really bothered to plan my own funeral. I am of muslim faith, and most of the time, the family does the burial the following day after the death, the body is washed and wrapped in a white cloth, and buried with no coffin. Sometimes I feel like a cremation would be a better option, but I am fearful to make such drastic decisions. 

My first experience with the death of a family member was in 2008, when my great-grandmother was transferred to a specialist cardiology hospital after collapsing in a nursing home. I was a curious medical student then. She was taken for a pacemaker insertion, but the procedure failed, and she was transferred to the ward, intubated, while someone was giving breaths through the ambu bag. She demised the following day. My uncle and I were there all along. I unfortunately missed the burial due to my duties and classes.  Grandpa, whom I have always loved more than my parents, passed away in August 2018. I got the news of his passing while driving to work. I cried in the car, wiped the tears and went to work. I am crying now as I am typing… I flew back home for the 40th, and my family and I went to his grave, mourned, cried, and paid our respects. I have a small picture frame of him, looking handsome in a tie and suit, on my parents’ wedding day. I talk to him most of the time, especially when I am sad with my medical work, and things are not going well. He was so proud of me when I made it to medical school.

Towards the end of the book, I came across Dr Liz O’Riordan’s story. She was a qualified breast surgeon who was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. She has had two episodes of local cancer recurrence. She is an author and, through multiple social media channels, educates the public on cancer awareness and her own personal experience with cancer treatment. She is open about how her cancer treatment caused her to lose her career as a surgeon and her ability to have children. I was extremely touched by her resilience and her extraordinary work. 

No matter what happens in life, we all know that death is the one true inevitability. There is nothing more certain in this world than our mortality. 

BEACH DAY

 

I have been in the city of Sligo since September 2025, and only last week I managed to go and check out the Strandhill beach. It was the perfect combination of me being on leave and in the mood, and the weather being agreeable. I got into the S2 bus and told the driver I was going to Strandhill for the first time, and he pointed out that the beach is on the last stop. It was a 30-minute bus ride. I enjoyed exploring the rest of the city. I was so excited to see the blue sea, the blue sky, and hear the sound of the waves. It was extremely serene. I sat on the nearest bench and enjoyed the scenery. I had packed a sandwich for breakfast, and having a meal with a view was very enjoyable. I took a walk down to the other side of the beach, passed the pebbles, and reached the sand. There was a surfing class in progress. It was quite cold and windy to even think about walking on the sand barefoot. The first thing that came to my mind was how my 3-year-old daughter would enjoy this beach day. 

She is a lovely child, and she has learnt to walk the streets at my pace and catch the public transport; she even has a sense of direction. For example, when we go towards the public library, she gets excited and runs ahead. We try to play inside the house, draw, and do various things, but somehow we end up spending hours in front of the screens. I try to organize outings for the weekends and spend quality time with my daughter. She enjoys playing with her doll, bunny, and other stuffed animals. She has a set of cups and plastic cupcakes where we have pretend tea parties. We enjoy drawing and painting. I can't wait for her to finally figure out how to colour objects individually. She goes crazy for the K-POP demons and sings and dances with them. Her speech has been a bit delayed, but she is slowly getting there. Only now she is making simple sentences such as I want to sleep, I want food, etc. Her favourite foods are toast with butter, chocolate of course, fruits, chicken, meat, fish, and chips. The other day, I made rice and tuna, and she completely omitted eating the rice and finished the tuna. 

She has coped very well with our immigration to Ireland. She finally started preschool in February 2026, after 5 months at home. She was not worried about getting in the transport lady’s car and going to her new school. She enjoys playing with other children. Even though she is a girl, she likes playing with cars and dinosaurs. When we moved to the new house with no bathtub, I was wondering how I could convince her to enjoy the shower. We succeeded with a bucket of foamy water and some toys, and she enjoyed playing in the shower. Potty training has not been consistent, and she still has a nappy on most days. But we have had successful days with the pants staying dry. 

Finally, on a sunny Sunday, we made our way to the beach. It was a pleasant bus ride. She understands the sea now and was even pointing out the baby sharks to mommy! We had lots of snacks while enjoying the view, plus feeding the birds and the seagulls. She would get very excited to see the dogs being walked, and would greet all of them. She did very well walking on the pebbles, and we found a lovely spot to play with the sand. I am looking forward to making more memories with my baby girl. 

LA LA LANAD

 

I have been on leave lately. I have enjoyed watching several movies, reading, creating art, doing crochet, and going for long walks when my little baby is in school. The other night, I opened Netflix, and I saw the movie La La Land come up. I am shocked to see that a decade has passed since it was released. It felt like yesterday. I cried a lot while watching that movie, shockingly more than while watching Hamnet. I know how passionate I felt when I first watched it in 2017. I was obsessed with the story, with the music, and all the dancing scenes. Playing that soundtrack in my car would really take me to La La Land while driving to work. I was passionate about life, about my work, and about the future. 

It was before the COVID pandemic, when life had different ways, and I  think most of us are not fully recovered from the pandemic trauma, and the post-pandemic price hikes and inflation. Before the pandemic, my plane tickets to home were booked 6 months in advance, and it was something to look forward to. I was constantly exploring new restaurants and places to eat out, shop, and meet people. My immigration to Ireland in 2025 is my first international travel since 2019. It does not count as a vacation; it was a painful immigration. I am the most minimal person right now when it comes to shopping. Buying clothes only when necessary, in solid and neutral colours. No more retail therapy, buying a leopard print blazer, and figuring out how to match it later! The last time I ate at a  sit-down restaurant was in February in Dublin when we went to get our resident cards. 

I can feel how different I feel now compared to 10 years ago. I used to feel young and alive, with a world full of opportunities ahead of me. I used to be excited about life and the future. Little things used to inspire me. I feel so numb these days. I do everything as a sense of duty. Get up and go to work to pay the bills, clean the house, look after my baby, and check on my parents. Work has lost its spark! That training registrar's adrenaline rush to learn something new has been replaced with burnout and defensive medicine. My husband and I have been married for 6 years now. Those good old dating days when we used to drool over each other are gone. It is a sad reality for most marriages when we hardly plan to do anything together, or dress up and go on a date for a change. In the new country, we do not have a nanny or a babysitter, so it is quite impossible to have some time with just the two of us. I guess this is what a midlife crisis looks like. After decades of hard work and juggling. 

I was hoping that with immigration to Europe, working in a more systematic and organized health care system, I would be happier and have a more balanced life. I was hoping earning a decent salary in a strong currency would give more opportunities to travel. As I am writing this blog, the world is in the middle of an energy crisis with Iran, Israel, and the US in a state of war. Following social media and the war news has become extremely exhausting. Yesterday I came across a comic cartoon of Donald Trump on Instagram,  dressed as Moses with his stick opening the Strait of Hormuz! It is an uncertain time of history, with more price hikes on fuel, flights, and groceries. No travel plans for me this year, and only saving and survival so we can pay the bills and put food on the table. 

FLOORED

 If you are a woman and you have a pelvic floor, you need to read this book, written by a pelvic physiotherapist. I am a gynaecologist, and I have always undermined pelvic physiotherapy. After having my first child, my mom started babysitting for me. By the time my baby turned 2 years old, my mother’s stress incontinence had worsened from leaking a couple of drops to being wet most of the time. Having a chronic cough wasn't helping as well. I was hunting for a urogynaecologist in town to fix the problem. I felt responsible that lifting my little baby was a possible contributing factor. A colleague recommended a urologist. We had a consultation, he suggested we start with a cystoscopy and urodynamic studies. I found the urodynamic study very invasive, and it didn't add any new information. The urologist suggested a tape, and off my mom went for surgery. We did not send Mom for any pelvic floor physiotherapy. 

You don't have to be in your 50s or sixties to have pelvic floor problems. I had one vaginal delivery, and I know my ability to hold my pee and poo is not the same as my 20s. We underutilize pelvic physio in most aspects of women’s lives. Dr Sara points out how we get all the other organs regularly checked out, and we forget about the pelvic floor until there is a prolapse or a leakage. 

As Dr Sara educates us in her book, nearly one in three women suffer from pelvic floor disorders such as painful sex, prolapse, back pain, constipation, urinary leakage, and lack of orgasms. These conditions affect women’s self-esteem and their ability to exercise or have intimate relationships. Urinary leakage alone is costing women in the USA over 20 billion dollars per year, yet most of these treatments are temporarily successful and do not address the main underlying cause, which is pelvic floor dysfunction. 

There are multiple body stretches that are instructed in the book that help, relax the pelvic floor muscles. She explains the importance of pelvic physiotherapy during pregnancy to reduce pelvic girdle pain, and improve the strength of the pelvic muscles. She explained her own birth experience going smoothly, with an intact perineum. She explained that taking time and effort with the help of her partner to give her regular perineal massages. 

The book is written in a very easy-to-read style, with a friendly tone. It explains the anatomy and physiology of female pelvic organs in simple terms that people who are not medical professionals can understand better. There is a holistic approach into how the pelvic organs and the pelvic floor function, besides doing the Kegels, such as giving us hints as  how to efficiently empty our bowels and bladder without causing tension and ongoing dysfunction. 

Read it You have ever leaked while sneezing, feel "disconnected" from your core, are preparing for birth, or are navigating menopause. It is essentially the "owner’s manual" for the female body that most of us never received in school.