THE IDEAL NUMBER OF CHILDREN

We have probably noticed a significant change in the size of the modern family. My great-grandmother had five children. My mother’s mother had two children. She was battling with postpartum depression and that was the reason she had fewer children compared to the women in her generation. My father’s mother had five children. I had my first baby at 37 and after exploring my options and what is best for my family and taking into account my husband’s wishes we decided to have only one child. We are currently focusing on raising our beautiful daughter. 


When I was 25 years old, I had the perception that children who are raised without siblings experience multiple mental issues, they tend to be lonely, they may not do well in life, or they may be socially more withdrawn. The ideal family to me was the one with two or more children. That was my expectation in my early twenties. The reality of life in my late thirties is different now. I work as a full-time OBGYN in an academic hospital, my parents are in their 60s and seventies and they depend on me financially. We don’t have many other friends and family in South Africa except my brother who is a lifesaver whenever we need financial help etc. 


I love my little daughter but due to the nature of my job, I hardly find time after work I the week or weekends to spend time with her. The finances have not been great, due to the various health care costs of my parents and my husband battling to have a stable job. I battle to have time to look after myself, attend to my hobbies, exercise, do more research or academic work, or even pursue a subspecialty. Looking deep at my wishes and desires I would not want to have another baby. 

Here are some of the positive effects of being an only child:


  1. The only child will receive more focused attention
  2. They show better academic performance due to more help from parents
  3. Only children show greater self-resilience and independence as they don’t have siblings to rely on
  4. They have more opportunities to travel, educate, and do extracurricular activities. 

Ultimately being an only child is not inherently better or worse than having siblings. With supporting parenting and opportunities to socialize, only children can thrive and develop into confident, capable, and compassionate individuals. 





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