KINDNESS IN HEALTHCARE

 I recently attended a very informative webinar by the Royal College of Ireland regarding “Kindness” in health care. It is a topic that is often not talked about or pointed out in medical school, and we only come across it when we interact with patients or our colleagues. Kindness is different from being nice; it is a necessary skill that we need to understand and cultivate every day. Esther Perel often talks about such skills as if they are muscles that need to be trained. 

I believe the first step to being kind to others is to be kind to ourselves. Try to enhance our self-care, and try to recharge our batteries from the struggles of day-to-day hustle. We do not want the empathy tank to run out while we try to give to others. It starts with basics, like good sleep, and some good body movements. I try to do as little as 5 minutes of squats or stretches in the kitchen while I am cleaning up. I know that sometimes the dirty laundry can wait to be hung or folded if I have had a busy day; this is a way for a working mom to be kind to herself. I try to set boundaries with friends and family, and say no if I am busy, to give myself more time to recharge. My favourite thing that keeps me going every day is sipping on my cup of black tea with no sugar while I take a small break. It takes me back to the good old days when I used to sit by grandma, drink tea, and watch the world burn down on the news. I enjoy going on walks, but it is more limited with my toddler.

One of the speakers on the webinar had a very interesting point. As doctors in medical school, we are trained to probe the signs and symptoms, run some tests, come up with a diagnosis and treatment, and feel good that we fixed the problem. There are times when, as a gynaecologist I am consulting a patient, and I know that I do not have much to offer, but just the gesture of listening to the patient attentively, allowing them to talk and not cut them off can go a long way. Learning to be a good listener is not an easy job when all we want to do is to interrupt the patients and tell them about the latest treatment options or clinical trials. Other aspects of being kind are having good follow-up plans, if we have booked an imaging or a test, to make sure it goes smoothly and does not get cancelled. 

Getting negative feedback from patients is not easy. I have had a few complaints from my consultants, which were feedback from my outpatient consultations, and one from the labour ward management. These are not big litigation cases when a patient was injured, or there was a very poor outcome. These were simply times when the patients felt unhappy with my behaviour. There is always room for more kindness, empathy, and attentiveness. In the webinar, we were introduced to a lot of books and reading material to help us cultivate kindness towards others. My senior consultants have been relatively good to me, and I thank them for their kind guidance.