ON MOTHERHOOD

 My mother and I have a wonderful relationship together. Since I had a baby myself, I have needed her support even more these days. We are very blessed to stay in the same residential complex. Every morning I drop the baby by her and I know I can focus on work while she is taking good care of her. If I am running late from work or there is an emergency the baby can stay with her longer.

My first memories of my mom, were probably when I was about 5 years old. My favourite bedtime story was the ugly duckling, and every single night I used to cry to that story even though it had a happy ending! The other memories are from the time my little brother was born. Back then we did not have disposable nappies and washing and drying the special cloths used as nappes was a process. I remember my little brother’s nappy time, bath time, and feeding times. The best memories of me and mom in my adult life is our little trip to Mauritius.

Another prominent part of my childhood was grandma. She was lovely. Always kind and patient.  We used to stay in the same house. She always had lots of stories to tell from how she met Grandpa, her teaching career and challenges, and how mom and uncle were raised and married. I always felt great around her. She even organized someone to sort out my sewing and knitting school projects in grade 6. Later on, I developed an interest in crochet when I was an intern, it used to help me relax from work stress. 20 years ago there were no YouTube tutorials, so I had to sit next to granny’s friend and follow her crochet steps!

Motherhood has really humbled me and there are several things I wish I had known before:

I always looked at my mom and felt like I would do better one day, but now I understand that all mothers are doing their best for their children, no matter what they go through in life.  Things I want to do differently from my mom is to be more fun and playful with my daughter and be her best friend.

It really takes a village to raise a child. We all need support from our partners, family, friends, and community to look after the children. I am blessed to have my parents around after I immigrated to South Africa.

We tend to lose our old identity after we become mothers, and it is difficult to be fully functional in our careers. Women often choose to work part-time or stay at home to be able to give the care the children need, and it is an extreme honor to raise small humans into adults.

Motherhood in the modern age is a complex topic. A lot of things need to be addressed such as the challenges of work and family life, the impact of social media on motherhood and parenting, and the importance of self-care and mental health for mothers.

 

The photos are of my mother and me,  then and now!





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